Step 3: Own Your Desire
Desire is the starting point of all achievement. Not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
-Napoleon Hill
It all starts with a QUESTION:
What do you want?
What do you desire above everything else?
What are you willing to fight for?
You’ve come out of hiding.
You’ve prepared yourself for the inevitable discomfort of growth.
Now what?
In the words of Mark Twain: “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
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The step to Own Your Desire is perhaps the toughest of all the steps to a goal.
It’s simple by nature. You need to answer the question.
It’s difficult to achieve. You need to be nakedly honest.
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Why do you want to get fit?
Is it to lose fat? Gain muscle?
Completely normal, and there’s nothing wrong with either goal … except
that they’re not strong enough … not vivid enough.
You need to dig deeper:
How will your day be better in 6 months after achieving your goal?
“I’d have more energy”
“My joints wouldn’t hurt.”
“My husband could reach his arms around me again … for a real hug.”
What will change in your life as a result of you shedding 30, 60, 120 pounds?
“I can be chic!”
“Playing with my kids would be fun.”
“I’d feel like a stud at the beach.”
What challenges do you face now that would disappear as a result of taking action?
“I’d say ‘yes’ to more social invites.”
“I’d get to go hiking again … I miss it.”
“I could look forward to traveling without feeling self-conscious.”
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For me, to own my desire means that I DESIRE to:
like the person I see in the mirror … because being strong has that effect
limit my pain: physical, psychological, mental … because I’m not lying down for joint pain, depression, or unclear thinking
role model health and balance for my children … because our children will follow our example
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If you struggle to get to the gym … or fight those food demons and lose … or are quick to self-sabotage …
It’s time to clarify your desire.
Too often we act as if desire should be pushed down and suppressed.
Instead, defining your deepest desire creates your roadmap to success.
Will there be roadblocks in the way? Sure.
Will you have doubts and question the course? Most likely.
But are those reasons to not move forward and reach for what you want? I hope not.
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Once you do clarify your desire, see how things go.
If you catch traction, don’t slow down. Take advantage of the new clarity of goal.
If, however, you find you’re still stuck, consider the benefits of accountability and coaching to help you push past the barriers that are holding you back.
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You see …
the habits that are failing you
are not so much a lack of will power
or a reflection of poor character.
Instead, what we perceive as failings,
are actually adaptations that are no longer effective.
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When we identify a DESIRE
that is greater than our current comforts,
it gives us real incentive to change.
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One of my jobs as a coach is to help you identify and REMEMBER what that desire is.
What is going to make you show up to workout when you don’t feel like it?
What is going to help you choose quality food over junk when the habit wants junk?
As I told one client: “My job is to make you LOVE working out (or to love the benefits of working out) so much that every other desire pales in comparison.”
His response: “It’s working.”
Or, with another client who has been loaded with life stressors and depressed about not staying on track with daily walks or eating well … after switching up some food choices for him and reminding him that the walks will lift his mood, he texted me: “Good morning, Rebecca. What a Joyful day! I’ve walked a mile every day this week and have eaten all my meals three days in a row! The suggestions work really well! Thank you!”
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Go towards the DESIRE
Go towards what creates JOY
Go towards what you WANT
… and stop torturing yourself with what you don’t.
In other words … give yourself a break.
And enjoy what makes you uniquely you.
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Pursue your desires. They are the roadmap to your success.
Strength for Life ~ in a body you love.
-Coach Rebecca